


Reunion at the Hog's Head

by AstroRed



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-13
Updated: 2017-06-13
Packaged: 2018-11-13 13:15:59
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,749
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11185887
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AstroRed/pseuds/AstroRed
Summary: In an alternate universe, Lily Evans Potter has just ended her marriage to James and goes to seek the comfort of an old friend in Hogsmeade.





	Reunion at the Hog's Head

**Author's Note:**

> This work is inspired by the Harry Potter series by JK Rowling. I do not own the characters and am not making any profit off of this work.

Lily Potter, no... "Evans"... she still was getting used to that, leaned her forehead against the cool train window, looking out into the dark, cloudy expanse. She ignored the bounce of the train because the coolness felt so good against her skin. She watched drops of rain streak across the window and thought about how she ended up here. It wasn't supposed to be like this. None of this was supposed to happen. Every time she thought about her current situation, she felt the floor fall out of her stomach. Did she really just leave? Was life really that bad? _Yes_ , she kept reminding herself. That wasn't supposed to be what life was like. She was supposed to feel loved, not used, not forgotten, not a trophy to be wheeled out at convenience. She deserved so much better. _When did it all go to shit?_ She kept asking herself. There wasn't much of an answer to that. She just knew she had to get out, that she deserved better.

In the midst of the tears and the fighting and the loneliness, a face from her past continued to cross her mind. It wasn't like she hadn't felt safe with James, just that was a long time ago, and those feelings were replaced with constant uneasiness. She had never felt unease with Severus, not really, not when they were alone together. She didn't like what he was like with his peers, but that was a long time ago, and he was always kind to her. It was the opposite with James. James was sweet and caring in front of peers, and the opposite when they were alone. When they were alone he ridiculed her, made her feel stupid and made her question who she was. Severus had never made her feel that way.

Once she had decided to leave James, she agonized over her future life. She still didn't know what she wanted. Her and James had been together since school, and her entire adult identity was based on him. She knew she had to speak with Severus. It would be painful, yes, but that was the last time she felt happy as herself, not as herself plus James.

She was jolted out of her thoughts when the train came to a stop. She looked around, still feeling the cold patch on her forehead from the window, and realized they were already in Hogsmeade. It was dark, cold and miserable out, but she felt a warm determination build inside her. She grabbed her single bag, all other possessions safe with Remus, and walked to the door of the train. She stood for a short minute before stepping out, her hand on the pole, staring out at the bleak, dark path leading to Hogsmeade. _This is your life now,_ she thought, _it is scary, but full of excitement._ She took a deep breath and stepped off the carriage, shoes splashing upon impact, and stared ahead. She strode through the dark, embracing the cold drops hitting her face as her long cloak kept the rest of her warm.

She took her time walking through Hogsmeade as others hurried around. The cold air felt good against her flushed and panic-ridden skin. It had been so long; what if he rejected her? What if he pushed her aside and made her feel smaller than James had? No, she couldn't think like that. She wanted to see her friend, to remember what it felt like to be cared for. She never forgot the way he looked at her, and in her spates of loneliness, those eyes held her close.

The shops had mostly all closed, and those still open were clearly wrapping up for the evening, the owners tidying up inside and getting ready to head home to their families and loved ones. _How nice that must feel_ , thought Lily, _to look forward to going home_. She saw her first destination at the end of the street, the Hog's Head. She remembered this from her days at Hogwarts, and remembered how many Slytherins loved to frequent the dark, dingy corners of the place. It made sense really, dark and dingy to one person can be quiet and comforting to another. Just the kind of place Severus would frequent, especially after a week of dealing with new children. She took a long, deep breath as she approached the fogged, glowing windows and with panic setting in, she peered inside, and her stomach fell away.

With his back to the window, there was no mistaking him. It was her Severus. Hunched over a drink, leaning one shoulder on the wall, he was all alone. Her care for him replaced the panic, and she felt the uncontrollable urge to see him, to comfort him, to just be among him. The mix of emotions swirling in her head, she decided how she would approach him, and that was, not at all. Taking advantage of his back to the scene, she walked into the Hog's Head. The heat and warmth hit her immediately, and she almost wanted to cry from the comfort of it. It was as if the place was reaching out to hug her and tell her life would be okay. No wonder Severus spent so much time here.

She walked immediately to the bar, and asked the bartender if she could have a firewhisky, and to please send one to the gentleman against the wall. He looked at her quizzically, "You mean, Professor Snape?"... oh, yes, she corrected herself. Of course they know him here. The bartender got a gleam in his eye, like there would finally be some entertainment tonight, and signaled for one of the waitresses to come over. Lily paid for both drinks as she watched the woman take him the whisky. His eyebrows creased together and he glared at the waitress, prepared for some elaborate prank, but she shrugged and pointed right at Lily. They made eye contact for a brief second, not even a second. Lily didn't wait around to read his reaction, she simply gathered her drink and her bag and stepped out into the back garden, figuring at least if he didn't follow, she could embrace some quiet, and let her whisky warm her under the evening sky.

Nerves building inside, she stood with her back to the pub, bag set on a table in front of her and sipped her drink, pretending she wasn't having a full-on panic attack. She tried to breathe deep as the seconds passed. _That's it. He's not coming_ , she thought, _maybe he didn't recognize me, and just thought a weird woman sent him a drink_. Just as she was looking at the sky, wishing that she had been braver and approached him, she heard someone set a drink on the table.

"Lily?" The simple question was all she needed. She set her drink down, and felt her emotions all come crashing down. She stared at the ground, trying to compose herself before looking over and took two, long, shaky breaths in, her tears beating against her closed eyelids. She looked next to her, saw him standing much closer than expected and said, as casually as she could, "Hi Severus!"

"Um... hi, Lily." Severus looked her up and down. He looked worn, tired. The war hadn't done him any favors. His hair was damp with the rain and clinging to his face, long and stringy, against his white, almost glowing, pale skin. His eyes were sad and sunken, and very confused. "Are... are you okay? What are you doing here?"

"I'm sorry, Severus," Lily said, "for everything." She picked up her whisky again, closed her eyes and took a long sip before putting it back on the table.

"Lily," Severus said firmly, "are you okay." He reached out and touched her elbow, gently. This small act of caring unraveled everything Lily had been holding inside. She let out a quick sob, disguised as a cough and turned to him, tears welling in her eyes. She wanted to say everything. Say sorry for what had happened to their friendship, to say how unhappy she had been, to describe the loneliness she had felt the last few years, but all she could do was shake her head, grasp at his arm still holding hers, and look at the ground between them. He quickly closed the gap and wrapped his arm around her, holding her close to his chest and held her in a tight hug.

She breathed in the smell of his dark cloak, warm compared to the sky around, and was flooded with memories of childhood, and happiness. Any modicum of stability she was feeling dissolved at that moment and she fell apart in his arms, weeping against his chest. She grasped at his back, looking for purchase against his cloak, trying to hold him closer than physically possible. Every feeling he was giving her now was the opposite of how James had treated her for the last couple years. The feel of his hands rubbing slowly on her back burned through to her skin. James never held her like that. James never tried to comfort her when she was upset. He just told her to stop making him sad. Severus was here, not questioning, not angry, just holding her while she cried.

They stood like this for what felt like hours, Lily crying into his chest and trying to hold him closer, while he held her in return, held her tightly and said nothing. As her sobs subsided, she felt his lips kiss her hair. She began to pull back, not letting go, as his hand reached up and caressed her face. She looked into his eyes. Severus was not a handsome man, by any stretch of the imagination. His skin was sallow, his nose hooked and his eyes dark and sunken, framed by his stringy hair, but in his eyes... she saw something else. She couldn't pull away. His eyes captured hers with feeling of love, protection and sadness. As he brushed her hair from her eyes, she pulled her hand from his back and placed it against his face. He closed his eyes and leaned into the warmth of her palm.

His eyes suddenly snapped open, and as he came back to reality, he pulled away from her, and took her hand in his, staring at it. His thumb brushed over the now-empty finger, and his eyes found hers, questioning. She nodded and blinked away a few tears as the cold mist around them grew. He once again pulled her into an embrace, as tears fell down her cheek. She felt his hand against her head and she pulled back to find his eyes with hers.

He bent down and kissed the tears from her cheeks, as she closed her eyes. A small voice inside her head questioned what was happening, _Are you sure you want this?_ and she responded to her own doubts by finding his lips with her own. She could feel him hesitate, like he wasn't sure she did that on purpose, but she stayed pressed against him and he returned the kiss, lips pressing fiercely against hers. It was his turn to hold her closer than physically possible as he braced against her back and her neck. She pulled at his cloak as their kiss deepened. She opened her lips to let him in further and his tongue found hers. They explored the taste of each other, dominated by the scent of firewhisky, as he stepped in closer. She stepped back and found the table pressed against her.

He felt her stop against the table and pulled back to assess the situation with myriad emotions in his eyes. His black eyes darted to her hair, her lips, her cloak, the ground, the sky, and finally back to find her eyes. He reached behind her and grabbed his whisky, never breaking eye contact, and finished it in one, setting it deliberately on the seat away from her. She looked down and behind for hers, finally grabbing it and finding eye contact again, knocking back the whisky and tossing the glass on the grass. She looked deep in his eyes as the whisky warmed her insides and wrapped her hands behind his neck, pulling his forehead to hers. He closed his eyes and rested against her, heaving a sigh that blew warm, whisky-laden air against her as she too closed her eyes and let exhaustion finally take over. 

The disappearance of their contact forced Lily's eyes open and she met his.

"We should sit down," Severus said, and with one hand, guided her to the table, still holding her other. He sat on the bench on the opposite side and enveloped her hand with both of his. Lily was staring at the sight of his hands surrounding hers.

"Tell me." The words sounded harsh, cruel even, and took Lily by surprise. She looked up and in his face saw a mix of fear, anger, and care betray the sound of his words. She sighed, feeling her throat rattle with emotion. She was so tired of crying, so tired of telling her story. For so long she had kept it inside, away from her family and friends, and once she finally knew she had to leave, she had to tell everyone. Telling Remus was the hardest; Sirius and James had always been so close, she had simply sent him a message saying "I moved out. Please look after James." and left them to their friendship. But with Remus, him and Lily had got closer over the dozen years since Hogwarts. She considered him her closest friend, and she needed somewhere to go. She'll never forget the look of confusion and sadness on Remus' face as they sat at his kitchen table, catching quick glances between long stares at their drinks. It was his idea that she reach out to Severus. He said a friendship like that can always be revived, and the distance may help her heal.

"Okay," Lily said, voice shaking, "but can you get the next round? That will help." He nodded, not responding to the small smile she gave, trying to lighten the mood. He pushed away from the table and strode quickly into the Hog's Head, leaving Lily to process what had just happened. She was feeling relief that his reaction was welcoming, confusion as to what just happened, and the familiar knot she felt every time she had to tell this story.

She had to tell the story, to explain why she left. Every time she told it, she felt that she was pulling the curtain back and exposing the truth of their marriage. She hated seeing the reactions on people's faces ranging from confusion, to sadness, to anger. But no one questioned her; she wouldn't allow anyone to question her. Severus walked back, not making eye contact and sat the drinks in front of them, getting settled before meeting her eyes again. 

The story was like a rehearsed play at this point, hitting the main points, explaining what things had been like and why she wanted to leave. She could not look at him while she spoke, she just stared at her hands, caressing the glass in front of her watching the light from the torches dance in the amber liquid. The coolness of the mist and the evening felt good, kept her alert and in some control of her emotion as she continued to speak. "... so I kept my word, packed my bags and walked out. It was the hardest, scariest, worst thing I have ever done, but I had to do it. I deserve so much better."

She looked up and met his face, and instead of the usual reactions she was so used to seeing, she was startled. He looked... wounded. Actually, physically, completely in pain. "Merlin's Beard! Are you okay? What's wrong?!" Her voice went up a full register. Severus' face scowled, slowly melting into a sneer as he spoke under his breath, "I just... I just can't..." he took a sip and stared at the table, as if trying to curse it into a thousand burning pieces. Lily began to panic; she didn't know what was happening. It had been so long since she had seen him, she didn't know what this meant.

He let out a long sigh, balled his hands into fists and said deliberately, "I just can't believe I wasn't there. I _should_ have been there!" He pounded the table, but his voice reflected sadness, not anger, and she wasn't afraid. He pushed away from the table and strode to the corner of the garden, placing his palms on the far table and hunched over, trying to catch his breath. Lily stood and walked to meet him, placing her hand on his back, and stayed silent. She remembered these fits from their childhood. They stood there in the dark, away from the lights of the tavern as he tried to breathe. 

"First me, then James. You deserve better than all of us." He shuddered and his breaths grew stronger.

"It's okay," Lily said while gliding her hand to his shoulder, "I'm okay now, and you saying that means everything."

He tilted his head towards hers, staring at the ground while he spoke words long overdue, "I love you Lily. I have always loved you. I want to be there for you and with you."

What felt like nausea quickly turned to happiness at the shock of these words. She had spent far too many years feeling unloved, and finally closing herself off and planning to get out, that this was like coming home. "Severus..." was all she could say before he whipped around and held her in a long embrace, her face pressed into his chest. She grasped at the back of his cloak, the woolly wet fabric knotting between her fingers as his fingers wrapped in her hair. Once again, their lips found each other, but it was more deliberate, more meaningful than before. She rose up so she could wrap her arms around his neck and push herself further onto him. The vibration from his chest against hers was repairing her heart, and she was feeling whole. She kissed him fiercely, competitively, knowing that every motion was met with his. She could feel her lips bruising as his mouth pressed against hers, but it felt so good, so safe.

His lips moved across her cheek, kissing every inch of her face. His warm lips against her cold, wet skin; his heavy breaths against her ear melting her from the inside. She wanted to laugh, to cry, to feel everything. She shifted her hips and could feel him pressed against her, his enthusiasm continuing to grow. He moaned into her hair when she moved and once again his lips sought hers. He grabbed her tightly and in one motion, spun her so she was sitting on the table, no lights save for the dark glow from the tavern behind him. She realized how isolated they were and smiled as she held on to him, wrapped her legs around him and pressed her hips to his. He kissed her jaw-line and down her neck, moving in quick heavy steps. Lily tossed her head back and felt drops hit her face as a smile grew. She couldn't help but smile and as she did, she realized this was the first time in almost a year she felt genuinely happy.

"Gods, Lily, is this really happening?" he whispered as his teeth nipped at her earlobe. She slowed her breathing and brought both hands to his hair, holding either side of his face and looked into his eyes. She looked at the sight of her fingers entwined in his stringy hair, met his eyes, and couldn't help but smile. A wicked sneer crossed his face as he leaned forward and pressed his lips to hers once more. She dropped a hand, splashing onto the table for balance, but he kept pressing forward. Her other hand rested at his neck for balance as she lay underneath him on top of the table. Her ankles locked behind his hips, and she shifted ever so slightly, wanting to feel his hard presence against her. He moaned, no, growled into her.

She smiled into him as she let her loose hand drop above her head. He reached above and found her hand with his, and clasped it tight, not pressing into it, not holding her down, just holding her hand. Their kisses slowed, and became gentle, pausing to look at each other. Her red hair splayed out on the wood, damp with the puddles of water and eyes glowing bright with happiness. Him hovering above her, damp hair falling in strings around his face, not bothering to push them aside when he leaned in for another kiss.

She could not help but rock her hips up into his, and he met her motion in return. He returned to kissing her cheeks, jaw and down to her neck, finding all the places that caused her to make small gasping noises. He brushed the hollow of her neck with his tongue and she arched her chest to meet his. He pressed his hips solidly into her and she could feel him hard through the layers of clothing as her heat responded to him. She moaned as he drew kisses down her chest, and just as his other hand reached her breast...

 _*CLANG CLANG* -- "LAST CALL!"_ echoed through the yard. Severus collapsed his forehead to her chest and let out a long sigh. Lily moved to sit up and pushed him ever so slightly back. "Well..." she said awkwardly, looking back to the tavern. "So..." he responded, "do you have a place to stay tonight?"

"I thought you'd never ask," said Lily, with a wicked smile that made Severus go visibly weak. He held her waist and lifted her off the table on to her feet, before rushing to her bag. "Shall we, my darling?" and offered her his elbow. Lily fought to keep from looking too giddy as they walked through the pub, offering a nod to the bartender as he winked in return before a glare from Severus sent him back to cleaning glasses. They stepped out the front door, back to the mist and the dark and walked in happy, comfortable peace to the castle.


End file.
